Wednesday, March 24, 2010
My Testimony
My testimony isn’t a heart-wrenching story of a lost girl coming into herself and reaching her full potential by overcoming her past addictions. My testimony is of a girl with a great life and an even greater God watching over her. It took me a little while to realize that He wanted a REAL relationship with ME. There aren’t many days that I think about living a different life than my own. I’ve never wanted to be someone else. I’ve never coveted any person’s life, belongings, or relationships. But I can’t help but think that some of this blinded me to what God needed from me. So I am going to tell you a little story and keep in mind that it is neither dramatic nor predictable.
As a child I was brought up in a home where there was no heartache, loss, depression, or hardship. I had a near perfect childhood. I have exceptional parents that sheltered me and took care of all of my physical, emotional and spiritual needs. What was I to want for other than the wants and needs that only a child should desire? I had innocent dreams, and pure intentions and a wonderful home to live in. As I grew up I had very few extreme experiences. I didn’t live on the edge. I was a cautious, courteous, and careful child. To this day I have never broken a bone or gone to a party. You could say that caution and security go hand in hand in my life. It wasn’t just fear that kept me from experiencing the things of this world but it was also maturity. I matured mentally much quicker from being home schooled vs. being introduced to a public school setting. I had a wider vocabulary than most my age by the time I reached my thirteenth year. I never completely understood why my peers insisted on wasting their lives glued to a television instead of investing their time in books and play. This all of course was credited to God and my parents in my later years. I caught much of what I learned and much of what I caught was what separated me from a lot of kids my age. Godly principals were instilled in my life as for as long as I can remember.
At a young age, I accepted the Jesus as my Lord and Savior on my way to school one day. Evidently I wasn’t mature enough as a person to fully understand what the commitment that I had made meant. It wasn’t until I was sixteen that I perceived what God so desperately desired from me. Even with that understanding I never chose to strike up a real relationship with Him. Because my life had never been extreme, I didn’t know how to have an extreme relationship with the Lord.
At the beginning of last year, I actually started receiving a taste of the blessings that God had in store for my future. I began to find an injustice in receiving the blessings and not reciprocating to the One who created me. God used a close friend of mine to open my eyes to the burning passion that my God has for me. There was a passion for my heavenly Father welling inside of me that became uncontrollable to a certain degree. Through that close friend, I was taught how to release my passion in a righteous way and truly show God how much He meant to me in my life. As I continued to seek God in this exceptional manner, I quickly began to mature in my worship, my relationship with God, my devotion and my character. I’ve learned that it isn’t right to just accept yourself and your as is. We should always be advancing and maturing in God and in our relationships around us. I’ve done a complete 180 and now I desire the future that God has for me instead of my own. For as long as I can remember, I’ve never wanted any part in this world. I’ve always strived to separate myself from it. But for the longest time, my goals and my desires were of this world instead of what God had intended for me. Now, I can walk with confidence acknowledging that I am on the correct path and that I am willing to do everything within my power to follow Christ in the most profound way possible.
I believe my duty, as a bondservant of Christ, is to touch our dying world in a way that no one ever has before and heal broken hearts through God. I have a fiery and desperate ambition to radically impact the world and awaken it to its almighty creator. I have talents and gifts that God has placed within me that only need the training to expand and reach the world in an undiscovered and provocative way. God has called us as leaders to be followers and before I can be a leader, I need to follow and serve. How else can one expect to identify with a fallen world if one cannot learn to serve it?
As a child I was brought up in a home where there was no heartache, loss, depression, or hardship. I had a near perfect childhood. I have exceptional parents that sheltered me and took care of all of my physical, emotional and spiritual needs. What was I to want for other than the wants and needs that only a child should desire? I had innocent dreams, and pure intentions and a wonderful home to live in. As I grew up I had very few extreme experiences. I didn’t live on the edge. I was a cautious, courteous, and careful child. To this day I have never broken a bone or gone to a party. You could say that caution and security go hand in hand in my life. It wasn’t just fear that kept me from experiencing the things of this world but it was also maturity. I matured mentally much quicker from being home schooled vs. being introduced to a public school setting. I had a wider vocabulary than most my age by the time I reached my thirteenth year. I never completely understood why my peers insisted on wasting their lives glued to a television instead of investing their time in books and play. This all of course was credited to God and my parents in my later years. I caught much of what I learned and much of what I caught was what separated me from a lot of kids my age. Godly principals were instilled in my life as for as long as I can remember.
At a young age, I accepted the Jesus as my Lord and Savior on my way to school one day. Evidently I wasn’t mature enough as a person to fully understand what the commitment that I had made meant. It wasn’t until I was sixteen that I perceived what God so desperately desired from me. Even with that understanding I never chose to strike up a real relationship with Him. Because my life had never been extreme, I didn’t know how to have an extreme relationship with the Lord.
At the beginning of last year, I actually started receiving a taste of the blessings that God had in store for my future. I began to find an injustice in receiving the blessings and not reciprocating to the One who created me. God used a close friend of mine to open my eyes to the burning passion that my God has for me. There was a passion for my heavenly Father welling inside of me that became uncontrollable to a certain degree. Through that close friend, I was taught how to release my passion in a righteous way and truly show God how much He meant to me in my life. As I continued to seek God in this exceptional manner, I quickly began to mature in my worship, my relationship with God, my devotion and my character. I’ve learned that it isn’t right to just accept yourself and your as is. We should always be advancing and maturing in God and in our relationships around us. I’ve done a complete 180 and now I desire the future that God has for me instead of my own. For as long as I can remember, I’ve never wanted any part in this world. I’ve always strived to separate myself from it. But for the longest time, my goals and my desires were of this world instead of what God had intended for me. Now, I can walk with confidence acknowledging that I am on the correct path and that I am willing to do everything within my power to follow Christ in the most profound way possible.
I believe my duty, as a bondservant of Christ, is to touch our dying world in a way that no one ever has before and heal broken hearts through God. I have a fiery and desperate ambition to radically impact the world and awaken it to its almighty creator. I have talents and gifts that God has placed within me that only need the training to expand and reach the world in an undiscovered and provocative way. God has called us as leaders to be followers and before I can be a leader, I need to follow and serve. How else can one expect to identify with a fallen world if one cannot learn to serve it?
Labels: 24/7, God, honestly, love, passion, reality, testimony, the world
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